THE HIGH PAYOFF RELATIONSHIP KEY FOR LEADERS

© 2008 Linda Feinholz

For two days I stayed out of it. I sat watching and listening.

That’s what I was supposed to be doing, as a consultant and coach who was sitting in to observe the workings of a team of managers as they conducted their monthly senior management meeting.

And boy did I have to bite my tongue!

In every moment they were working so hard to avoid improving their working relationships with each other.

What do we understand about building relationships?

So often, often relationships seem to be out of our hands. There are people with whom we get along, and others who (at best) we tolerate. Some relationships scare us, so we avoid those people. Mostly, we invest our relationship building with those who understand us.

From my one-on-one discussions with each of these managers I had some perspective of their attitudes towards one another. And I watched those attitudes play out for sixteen hours.

The heads of Marketing, of Sales, of Production, of Finance, and everyone else sat around the table. They spent more time watching to see if they were at risk, and criticizing each other, than bringing their experience to bear in solving the challenges in front of them. Meetings that ought to take 30 minutes went on for up to four hours! Ugh!

None of them had their attention on the critical success factor of strong teams: building strong relationships with each other.

As the managing heads of their company they needed to improve their capabilities as technical managers AND claim their role as leaders. Both of those competencies depend on commitment to relationship.

When I brought this up with each of them their first concern was whether there was enough time to add “all that extra work” to their plate.

What if my clients understood that they could affect the quality of their relationships intentionally? Easily? Without risking a thing? Would better relationships across the board improve the quality of their lives at work and at home? And their business results? I’ve got my money on your answer being an emphatic “Yes!”

So here are the keys I’ll be teaching them that unlock High Payoff Relationships:

Leaders Inspire
In 15 seconds when speaking to others, leaders inspire a shared vision of what the organization can become and enlist others in putting their efforts into making that vision come to reality. One sentence spoken with a smile and energy at the beginning and conclusion of a meeting is usually all it takes. And that’s not more work!

Leaders Model
Every business has a culture demonstrated by the behavior in the organization. Leaders model the way by setting an example for others to follow. For this group, modeling includes showing up to participate in meetings. That includes speaking up actively with questions that clarify the challenges under discussion and proposing ideas for how to solve them. It won’t take a minute longer – in fact it will shorten most of their discussions by about 75%!

Leaders Enable
Nothing is more frustrating for an employee than to be told they have a target they must achieve… and then having nothing but obstacles in their way. Leaders enable others to act by providing the tools needed for them to get their jobs done and removing those obstacles. This set of leaders needs to demonstrate doing that among themselves and for everyone else.

Leaders Challenge
Contrary to popular belief the goal isn’t to prove others wrong. Leaders challenge the process and the status quo, without criticizing or discrediting others. They look for opportunities to innovate, experiment and take risks. My clients need to recognize that risk taking involves mistakes and failures – learning opportunities. Learning easy changes in language will ease their stepping forward with ideas for making it all work better.

Leaders Encourage
We each know how wonderful it feels to be acknowledged, whether in conversation or with an email of appreciation. This team needs to mimic their CEO and encourage the heart or each person, including their peers, by recognizing contributions that individuals make; celebrating their accomplishments; and making people feel like heroes. Total time? About 9 seconds!

Leaders Cultivate Consistency
For leaders to be credible over time, they need to act consistently, demonstrating the professionalism of their work, the manner of following through on their own performance and the management of other people’s on behalf of the organization’s vision and goals. Frankly, that starts with those other five behaviors and sustaining them over time.

There’s actually little time added, and often quite a bit saved. When leadership is incorporated into a team’s attitude and commitments it makes everyone’s ‘work’ easier, more fun and bonds teams together.

From those deeper relationships, my clients will be building their success in good times and solve challenges in tough times with everyone pulling together.

Now it’s your turn!

March 10, 2008 | Filed Under Leadership, Managing 

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